". . . our stories are what make the difference, and if we can tell them honestly we can hope to help each other. In the end, we have nothing to offer each other but our stories." ~ Emma Lou Thayne

Sunday, July 4, 2010

DRAFT: Confession Wednesday: I Use the Computer to Distract/Focus??

Confession Wednesday Button

Karen is off on her dream trip in South America... you know... working hard trying to HELP PEOPLE and all that GOOD STUFF!! So I don't know if she has someone linking us up with this or not. BUT I have a confession, so I'll play along regardless. *sigh*

I've been working hard at trying to keep positive and do good things! However, this bipolar thing really is a PAIN and I WISH it would just GO AWAY!! I have been feeling like I'm in mixed mania lately. Counting blessings... yes, I still CAN see positives in my life... but that doesn't make the emotions go away. Some times are easier than others. I have to admit how incredible I found that things went as well as they did for Trek!! THAT was a MIRACLE!! I know, I STILL have to do my BIG POST on TREK! Hopefully next week... ??? (sidetracked, sorry)

Today I took Stitch kid to the doc. Mind you, this doctor (AND his student doc) are in my ward. (Mormonese for they're in MY church... LOL!) I was a WEBELOS leader in our area for 3.5 yrs during which time I had this dr's son. Since I just started going to him (END of May) he was a little surprised at my record and the bipolar bit because I seemed SO ORGANIZED due to the website I created for the WEBELOS. What he didn't realize is that the computer is part of my manic side. But when I'm ON the computer, I TRY to do GOOD things!! It takes me a LONG time to accomplish things because I get SO distracted so easily. I regularly have 10-15 windows open across the top of my screen. For example, it is at this moment 4:10am, I am WIDE AWAKE and have 20 windows open on the web, and 4 different processes open aside from the internet. I jump from one thing to the other continuously. This can be quite frustrating and also represents when I'm trying to accomplish things in LIFE... Packing for a trip, cleaning, shopping... We shouldn't go NEAR the shopping... Let's just say, the computer keeps me out of the stores and not SPENDING... unless of course I get sidetracked on EBAY... (I avoid EBAY unless there is something SPECIFIC I need to look for. If I don't... Let's just say SOMEONE is rolling his eyes or giving me THAT LOOK...)

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