". . . our stories are what make the difference, and if we can tell them honestly we can hope to help each other. In the end, we have nothing to offer each other but our stories." ~ Emma Lou Thayne

Monday, July 25, 2011

Pinky Promises and Theme Song... It Stops TODAY

Horrible picture, short stubby fingers, uneven nails, etc... 
I know... 
I'm willing to admit to...
~ marching to the beat of my own drum
 ~ being an odd duck 
~ being a few bricks short of a load 
~ one whose elevator doesn't always reach the top 
~occasionally having a short fuse
I'm sure you could help me out with more... ;p

ANYWAY... I'm sure some of you noticed that one finger is different than the rest... YES! I did this on purpose!   Different people do this for different reasons... I am going to share with you why I am doing it...

First of all, I've never been much of one to always need to have my nails perfectly manicured and painted all the time... OK, it's been a RARE occasion. We'll see if this makes a difference. 

I've been having difficulties this past year on many fronts. THAT will likely not change. However, my perspective and reaction to situations hopefully will. You've heard of a "pinky promise" or "pinky swear", right? It is usually made between two or three people and they interlock pinkies to "seal the deal". Yes, we're talking a preteen tradition here... HAH! Well, this is my version and I guess I'm swearing it to YOU... and my PINKY fingers are painted a different color as a reminder to myself!! 

My left pinky is a reminder that I do NOT have to be perfect or live up to the expectations of others. However, I should remember to be civil to those around me regardless of my mood. 
In short: 
I don't have to be perfect, but I do have to act humane.

My right pinky is a reminder that I have to remember my limitations and the things that trigger negative things (ie migrains, anxiety, depression, mania, etc...) in my life. I shouldn't let anyone manipulate me to go outside of those boundaries. It's OK to say NO! 
In short: 
Recognize my boundaries and know when to say NO.

If any of you would like to join me in 
your own version of a "pinky swear" 
I'd love to hear about it!!

Here's to a first step! 
This is my "Pinky Promise" THEME SONG
It Stops Today by Colbie Caillat
Written by Colbie Caillat and Jason Reeves
Album: Break Through
Track: 11

no, no, I, I, I, I, 
I don't want to break when I speak 
I don't want to shake while I'm standing 
I don't want to crawl into another hole 
I don't know what i'm hiding for 

no, I, I, I, I
 don't want to fall when I stand
I don't want to have to hold your hand
I just want to be the girl I use to be
when I was me and worry free
I know these burdens are my own

but I cant keep on running
no I just cant keep on running away from here
I know that the only way to beat it
is to fight on my every fear

I'm not going to make it
'til I turn around and face it alone, I know
I can't just keep running,
no I just can't keep on running away
so it stops today

so here I am, I'm taking my first step
thought i was losing balance but I caught myself
I kind of like the challenge, no I don't need help
I'm going to make it past the very start
its always been my hardest part

but 
I, I, I, I, 
I am going to stay in control
I must admit this crutch is getting old
I am going to throw it out of my hand
I'm finally here, I understand
I know I
'll get there on my own 

so I can't keep on running
no I just can't keep on running away from here
I know that the only way to beat it
is to fight on my every fear
I'm not going to make it
'til I turn around and face it alone, I know
that I can't keep running,
no I just can't keep on running away
so it stops today

you can hide from all the pain
but it will find you anyway
yes, I know,
now I know

that I can't keep on running
no I just cant keep on running away from here
I know that the only way to beat it
is to fight on my every fear
I'm not going to make it
til I turn around and face it alone, I know
that I cant just keep running,
no I just cant keep on running away
so it stops today

*I know it's not "just" that easy dealing with the bipolar, and all... but living up to my "pinky promises" is a giant leap i the right direction and will hopefully help a LOT!! 
~ One thing I would like to make clear about me being open about dealing with bipolar is that I am not looking for sympathy or attention concerning it. What I hope to achieve by being open is for others to become more educated about it and understand it a little better, taking away some of the stigma associated with it... 

Photobucket

*I know I've been AWOL a lot lately and I apologize. Life has been crazy and busy and I don't see that changing a whole lot until boys get back in school. I'll try to pop in and around as I'm able.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sunday Expressions: All Is Well

For those of you not familiar,
today is the day we (Utahn's)
commemorate the pioneer saints that
came into the Utah Valley to settle.
Happy Pioneer Day!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...